October 9th 2008

Today is the Day...

Promises, Promises

The Autumn Equinox just occured. It is the time of year when the day equals the night. It is also just before I go into hibernation and freak out because the days will be shorter.

I'm not so much a day person as I am a night. Even so, I do enjoy the warmer weather. Out here on the West Coast we've been experiencing a drought. Water rationing hasn't taken it's hold on San Francisco just yet, but on the other side of the bay, they fine those who over use their rations.

Earlier this year I made a promise to myself that I would take better care of my friendships, family and those I come in contact on a daily basis. We tend to neglect those closest to us, yet seem to reach out to complete strangers. This year, I made a great effort and still am trying to get over myself in reaching out to family. Can't say that I'm the best at it, but... I'm getting better.

Although this was a year for "Others" these last few months I've decided to take the time and focus on myself. I'm not too much for being self-centered, as this is not the way of a buddhist monk. But, I feel a need to be a bit healthier, find peace of mind, and perhaps a job or a boyfriend. Now which came first? The fried chicken or the boilded egg?

Since my boobies have streched down to their limit, and my gutt has reached to where no eyes have seen the panaee naee.... I have to lift up both and still find can't see the goods! At this point I've grossed out everyone, but really I'm too shy to bring out the mirror and look. Although the look on other's faces tells it all. Neglecting myself as I have been putting so much emphasis on other's. Trying to keep them happy has also made them displeased as they too have to look at me. And it isn't a pleasent sight.

I'm trying to get up the courage to get yee bootay to the gym. Start back on those green smoothies and clean up my house before the spiders make those dusty corners their happy home. Yet I have found that I have turned into the one thing I said in life I would never, ever be. Yep folks... she's a couch potatoe. I said Potatoe NOT Potato. Oh gosh, that made my stomach growl. I need motivation folks, yep a word of encouragement. I need a friend I can call and say... "What have you eaten today?" Salad, cottage cheese and tea? Heaven's to Betsy NO! I ate an english muffin for breakfast, sushi (cooked beef) miso, salad, rice for lunch, and OMG... cheese and dry cracker for dinner. Does this sound like a diet? or a DIE IT?

Well... something has to be done, even though I've been working out at the gym a couple of times a week for the past few weeks. Do you think I'm hard on myself or that I'm going to need to attend an over eaters anonymous club? I mean.. I'm a nervous eater. I'm addicted to FOOD! I said it.. yep and OUT LOUD... I LOVE FOOD!!!!

Wheew.. now that we've gotten that out of the way, today and I mean today. I'm making a promise to my higher self to take better care, drink more water, exercise 2-3 days a week to start and eat better food. Today I will clean up something in the house that needs it badly and I promise to get rid of something that is really hard to let go. Give it to someone who needs it more than me. Perhaps take things to the Goodwill, donate some coats and warm clothing for those who could use something for less. Besides I'll never fit into those 80's size 8's this or next year. That is unless you belive in miracles. I Do Believe, I Do, I DO, I DOOOO!!!!

But by that time I'll want some new clothes to go with that new job and new boyfriend.

Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum