December 12, 2008

The City Job's Q & A

The Interview

Question: Are you a Geek?
Answer: Who me? Why YES, how'd you guess.
How long have you been a geek?
Answer: More than 10 years!
Do you enjoy being an overweight unemployed geek?
Answer: Well, this is the very reason why I'd love to work for this lovely city. I appreciate the homeless shelters, welfare checks and food stamps that this lovely city offers. However, I'd very much like to have a REAL Job, get a paycheck every two weeks, receive health benefits and enjoy two weeks paid vacation.
Question: If the Office of the Mayor requests something done by the end of the day what do you do?
Answer: Tell him... I'll do it by hand if I have to. Spend the night crawling on my hands and knees searching for water to feed his thirsty appetite for my expendable nature. Because this is a hellava job that you cannot fulfill because nobody else wants it. But here I am, begging you to give me a chance, cause I can Kick Butt and get the job done. Uhhh what was the question again?
Answer: Yes, I'd get the job done, pronto!
Question: So, what you are saying is... You will give up your very existence for the benefit of this city. You will have no life, will have many sleepless nights worrying about your job, and you will lose weight until you are gaunt in the face because you don't have time to eat.
Answer: Yes
Question: Please elaborate.
Answer: Perfection is my first, middle and last name. Do I make mistakes, yes. I'm human, we all make mistakes. Do I like them, no. No one wants to admit they are wrong, even when they are rightly so. Will I get the job done? Yes. Delivered on time and managed properly within budget. Will you work with me and help me achieve this? Uhhh...That is a question. (Funny how interviewers don't answer questions.) Because I am a "Team Player" We depend on each other and help each other out to achieve immediate success. And by the way, I LOVE being a Geek! So what da you sayyyy.
Interviewer: Thank you so much for coming today. (We shake hands) Let me walk you to the door. ("click")

Sheesh, this is how the interview went. There were Three, count em, THREE people interviewing me with ONLY a 1/2 hr time allotted for questions. I've NEVER had an interview to last that short. Seems, everyone they interviewed were given the same amount of time. There were no smiles, no friendly indications of whether they were giving me the job or not. So, this is what it's like working for the "City" Sheesh!

As I was leaving, I looked around the office. I must tell you that I saw plenty Black women and they all had their hair done! AND they wore heels. I mean... HOLD ON A SECOND..... they could afford the "Beauty Parlor" Do you know the last time I went to the Beauty Parlor???? Had to be back in 1982! Hear me when I say that MOST Black women spend no less than $50 every two weeks on their hair, and no more than $300.

Me? I beautify my own nappy head with dyes, relaxers and trims. I also buy a clip on ponytail for $9.99 REG. or on SALE for $6.99. (Believe me when I say...I hate doing hair.) It's the minimalist look for me. Am I a Geek? Yes. Close your eyes and imagine how I look with my fish bowl glasses looking cross-eyed at the interviewer trying not to beg for a job.

Could you believe this is the 2nd interview that I've had within the past year? The last one was with a recruiter who knew nothing about what I do. It was so idiotic I felt like a teacher speaking Russian. Yep, the interviewer was from the Former Soviet Union and spoke very little English. I guess they hired her because someone thought she'd make a good Mail Order Bride.

Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum