August 21st 2006

Big Retailer Offer & Dad's Revenge

The Offer

Well.. as I expected, the Big Retailer called today and gave me an offer.

It was even lower than I estimated. The HR Manager seemed to relish in the fact that they are able to offer me an additional 20% of salary since I live in the Bay Area, they don't have to relocate me. I'm not sure how it works, nor how I'll feel after I contemplate how little will be going into my bank account. The home office will snail mail me a confirmed offer.

Immediately calling my Mom, letting her know about the verbal offer. She spoke too soon by trying to guess the amount. She missed by a $15,000. I told what it was, she sighed and said, "That's just enough to pay a few bills and barely get you by." My, my... we do think alike.

Dad's Bitter Resentment

On the other hand, my father has been a complete ahole on the employment/education subject. He calls on Saturday leaving a message so I called him back. He starts off calm, then ends in a ridiculous fuss.

He asks, "Did you go on the job interview?" I talked to him last week telling him that I'd already gone on 3 interviews and am waiting for the background check to go though. "Background check? Why do they have to do a background check? What did you do wrong? So you didn't get the job?" Dad, this is their proceedure before they hire me. "Well then why do you need to bring someone with you to the party?" (He's talking about his Bday party) "I don't want to pay him to sing, but if you want to bring your companion" Dad, he's not my companion just a friend that sings, he'd be glad to sing. "Your lover?" No Dad, he's not my lover, just a friend. "Well, you have to call "Dad's Wife" before the 26th.

26th? Oh, I'm graduating on the 26th... "What???I've been to 3 or 4 of your graduations already, You are ALWAYS Graduating! Why is it always about You!" Just thought I'd invite you. "Is that how you ask someone?" I just realized when you said the 26th and I thought I told you already.

3 or 4 graduations.. lemme seee.... that's Jr. High, High School, Bachelors degree and uhhh my final show last year for my Master's Degree. He didn't even come to my graduation because he and his wife were on vacation cruise. Nor did he come to my art show in May.

He raised his voice again this time even louder, "It's always about You. You, You YOU!!! You are so Selfish!" He said this with gusto. I had to stop myself, blink twice before I answered now and ask myself: Where is this man coming from? I never talk about myself or disrespect my Dad intentionally. Next he asks "I want you to work the CD player." Dad, I'm not too good at that sort of thing. I suggested him asking my brother as he knows electronic stuff. Besides, it's more of a man's job.

The last time I talked to Dad, he asked me to be a hostess greeting people at the door and showing them to their seats along with his Step Daughter

OH I GET IT... Step Daughter doesn't want me share in such an honor

Step Daughter has a job, a car and her own apartment. POOR starving Bebe.. has no job, no car, is barely living day to day hahaha and never asks for help. Step daughter has a high school education and a boyfriend who we all think is gay. Somehow, I don't think this was Dad's decision, making me DJ. They ie., His Wife and Step Daughter have always been jealous of his paternal kids, there are 3 of us.

Ha ha ha.. She looks so stoopid pressing the wrong CD button. What kind of music is that? (Told him I don't have any CD's) Paternal daughter can't afford a REAL DJ? She's unemployed, look at her, she's in school AGAIN! For What? Art? Hahaha

Dad shouts... "You've been in school for the past 10 years!" Yes, I have to keep up with new computer technology learning how to edit video, websites, DVD interfaces and record sound. Been painting my butt off for my final MFA show. I've never asked him for anything, no school fee's, no I need some money cause I'm broke and they're cutting off my electricity and phone.

So why is he complaining? Why should it be a bad thing to enhance ones education? It took me two years to get this degree, shouldn't he be a proud father? I told him that it woulda been nice if he would just say "Congratulations! Your graduating, how nice" but noooooooo he fussed about it saying that "It won't do you any good, YOU are wasting your time going to school at Your Age!" Well... I NEVER!!

To make a long story short.

He kept repeating himself over and over again, (somewhat like I am now) shouting at me at the top of his lungs "You are good for nothing!" and then he threatened me. Saying "I'm going to Kick YOU Out!" Kick me out? Thinks he means out of his will. Sheesh... He kept shouting "You never want to do anything for me, you are always complaining, you never just say OK." I always just.. say OK, whatever you want Dad, that's ok with me. That is what I said this time, but he didn't listen. So I asked... "Are you upset because I'm graduating? Are you upset because I'm getting a job? Dad.. I don't understand." He says... "How dare you talk to me like that." Like what? All I did was invite you to my graduation... He then started hyperventilating when I asked what's wrong? Is it because I'm alive? You resent me even being born? What is it? After he said "Shit on You!" Guess what I did???

I hung up the phone.

Yes folks... I hung up the phone on my Dad. Immediately calling my Mom crying. She say's "He's losing his mind." That I did the right thing. Not to let him crush my spirit, that he belittled me for getting an education.

Wouldn't any good parent be proud of their child? A child that's trying to make a better life? My Dad? Noooooo. Why was he so upset? He resents the fact that I'm alive. That I'm a girl, that I look like his mother, that I'm an artist, that although he has his college degree, he never pursued his life interest, instead settling for something much less. He's ashamed that he left us when I was 10yrs old and forfeited his responsibility towards his paternal children.

I pray for my Dad everyday. He has prostrate cancer, his mother passed away at the very same age that he is turning in September (85). I pray for his family and our ancestors. I pray that his heart is softened and that he learns appreciation.

It makes him very angry and filled with resentment that his daughter "me" is a Buddhist Priest. I guess he wanted me to be a Catholic Nun.

Back to the Offer.

They want me to start work next Monday. Somehow I have to figure out how I'm going to get there. I have no money to pay for bus or BART. Luckily I have my Mom.. she's come through in a pinch.

And I have my doggie.

She hugs and kisses me and give me the unconditional love that I so much need right now. She's such a sweet doggie. We've been fighting a major flea problem and I've had to pamper her with anti itch lotion and baths. She's come to curl up to me as if to show me how grateful she is that I'm taking care of that allergic reaction to the bites.

Maybe after I start work, I'll even meet a boyfriend! Wish me luck! Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum

Your Career Personality: Detail-Oriented, Observant, and Hard-Working

Your Ideal Careers:

Designer
Family counselor
Independent store owner
Interior decorator
Museum curator
Psychic
College professor
Social worker
Artist
Buddhist monk

The Quick and Dirty Career Test