September 29th 2005

80th Birthday and Tummy Tuck

80 years old

This past weekend, my cousin... YOU know the one that looks like a model. Gave her mother an 80th Birthday Party.

That was Sunday... then on Saturday we had a family dinner.

OK.. let me back up.

This is my lovely cousin who used to be homely, wore nerd glasses and was a church gurl. But NOW.. after a divorce she's discovered her beauty. I mean her OUTER Beauty. Which is kewl, because her smile could lighten up a room and turn men's heads with their tongue hanging out of their mouth's.

Ok.. now about the party.

On Satuday her mother turned 80! She also has cancer, so this was a big deal for us all to get together and family members flew in from New York, LA, Dallas, and local areas. I was told we were going to Forbes Island, which is right off Pier 39 here in San Francisco. It was a beautiful evening and with all the picture taking, remind me to do a posting of long lost pics. I'm so behind downloading them.

Forbes Island, which I found out is NOT an island, but a landing which this man built. It's like a huge bouy, that rocks like a small boat. It actually looks like a Pirates Ship inside, reminding me of something I'd see on Pirates of the Carribean or Treasure Island. The original paintings, stained glasss and woodwork alone is something I will always remember.

MORE than that, I will always remember how Sea Sick I Got!

The boat was rockin and so was my stomach! I was just about to pass out, when someone ordered me a Ginger Ale. Then I went into the ladies lounge and it had a bed in it. Thank God! Fortunatly after a little rest, I went back to the dinner table they finally brought some bread and that seemed to settle my tummy a bit better.

The dinner was quite good. Steak, Lamb Chops, Salmon. I ordered the Salmon. Yum Yum... With Salad, Chocolate Mouse and Coffee. My brother video taped the whole nite. Something I can never get him to do for any of my shows, but this shows how much he's infatuated with my cousin.

Then the evening couldn't have ended better with fireworks at the pier. The Biggest and Best I've ever seen here in SF. What a way to celebrate a birthday. Then my cousin pulled up in her New Convertible BMW her mother hopped in with the top down and.. of course the elderly folks made her put the top back up. You know how they are about catching a draft. Pretty good evening. Except for the boat rocking.

Fast Forward

Sunday... was a surprise party at 101 California Street.

It's right across from the Hyatt Regency Embarcadero and on California Street the Cable Cars run up to Nob Hill, where the Mark Hopkins, Fairmount Hotel, Grace Cathedral, China Town, Old St. Mary's Cathedral all are.

There were butlers running around serving prawns, chicken and mushrooms on scewers. There was white and red wine, apple cider and bottled water.

My aunt entered with my cousin of course she was so surprised with about 150 guests sit down meal, live band and all family, church members, and friends in attendance. The place was packed!

Then my brother whispers to me, You KNOW she got a Boob Job and a Tummy Tuck!

My sister-in-law nodded with agreement. I then realized that she used to be flat chested and after 3 kids she did look a little thin and perky. Right On Sister, IF I could afford it, I would Too! She looks GREAT! And Everybody thought so.

This is when it came to my mind that this party wasn't for her mother at all. But for everyone to notice her newfound beauty! She was prancing around there in a red dress boobs shaking and gleaming with see, see, see... ME attitude. Her sister even came to me and commented that she felt kind of isolated. That she didn't know anyone. I told her I didn't EITHER! That's when I told her, well... she's so much about protocol that she forgot to introduce us to any of her guests. There was no PR person doing introductions. That is was all a plot for her to get all of the attention and for all eyes to be on her.

My mother didn't see it as that as all she could think of was, isn't it a lovely thing she did for her mother.

You see, my mother is turning 80 next month. My brother and I were both talking about how we wouldn't be able to live up to all of this for our mother. You see.. I think she spent about 20k on the Sunday Dinner and on the Saturday Dinner each meal cost $65. With two tables, I added up about $3,000. spent in meals.

I could barely afford the $65 wondering.. wait a minute that was the money I was going to use for my Mom's BDay. She paid for all of the guests meals on Sunday.. Wow, she must have REALLY come into some Big Money. And YES she did. I can't discuss HOW she did it, but let me tell you.... Sexual Harrassment... Don't Do IT!

Perhaps a dinner on a moving boat at sunset with my Mom and small family would be nice. I'll try to get together that plan early next week. Maybe my rich cousin with her Mom can come. Oh right... her Mom was married to my Mother's Brother. Gosh... it's tough being an artist still in school. But I'm just thanking God that both my parents are still alive and well. Mom turning 80 and Dad turned 84 this month on the 7th. If I should live so long I would want to look as good as them.

Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum