May 1st 2005

Really Good Shoe...

It's OVER!

The show is over, then why do I feel like I've been had?

This pic is of me on the set praying at my altar.

Ok.. check out this LINK and see for yourself!

Look under Friday and Saturday... see One say's Bernadette Taylor the other say's Bebe Taylor.. neither of which are my name! Ya think that IF one spends no less than $7,000 a semester that they could get your name right! Well.. NO they didn't.. I mean.. when I saw my name misspelled on the Poster they corrected it on Friday Night.. but still Saturday Night on the same poster they called me a Taylor. And on the website it was misspelled both nights!

Do they think I sew?

Yeah.. well... I crochet a little bit... replace a few buttons every now and then. Maybe it's a reminder that my Grandmother was a Taylor... HEY... maybe I'll use that in my next show? Shoot child.. right now I just feel really bad. Especially when they introduced me and forgot to use my REAL first name.

I mean, my first name is a historical family name with a great lineage. I'm named after my father's sister who was a Nun, and this was also my father's mother's sister's name. These ladies were significantly magnificent women in my family.

So... There was my Dad with his wife, My Mom with her boyfriend, The head of the Multimedia Studies Department at City College, One of my Fellow Monks who doesn't even know me by my Nickname... and who knows who else that was wondering WHY they didn't spell or introduce me with my name. REALLY Really was horrible for my Dad especially.

Ok... ok.. I emailed my advisor and the administration person... as they had reassured me after I saw my name misspelled on Thursday Night that they had fixed everything.. NOT.. OMG.. Should I just freaking give it up? Or should I forgive them.. go on with life and put it all behind me. Does my advisor or the staff know who I am? Now I'm wondering do they even give a freakin "F***"

And you wonder how the show went?

It was Ok.. I mean.. I was very nervous as my Dad never comes to my shows and then he always makes some comments that make me feel bad. Like, you were good but you were the fattest one up there. Or, it was nice, but why did you play such a stoopid charachter?.So of course I lost my voice and was very hoarse. Yes... true. I'm crying here. Some audience members said it was a good show, but I know better. Especially after Dad left quickly and with no kiss goodbye.

This pic is of me at my Grammy Tarot Card Reading Table. Notice the wierd white circle around my head. They say that is either a spirit or the spirit energy.

You can see why I'm feeling bad. It was ok Friday Night... But it was a Better Show Saturday Night.

My brother came with his wife. He's My Nephews father. The same Nephew who played the preacher in my play. That's really why he came. Cause dear sweet brother NEVER comes to ANY of my shows. Then one of my long time dancer friends came.. and there he was with his flash photography when they were video taping the show. You know what that does to video material that I'm going to use for my DVD.. it sucks!

I'm not going to complain anymore. In my humble opinion, all the shows were simply great! Mine was just one of them that showed what people can achieve creativly when pushed to the limit. Maybe that's it. I'm just stressed out and am extreemly happy that this semester is OVER!

Get this frucking shyt over so I can get a JOB!

Oh that's my problem. I need a job. Gosh I'm bitter when I'm hungry, stressed, nervous, freaking out, wondering where is a job for me? I've been looking for months now. I realize that everything happens at the right time, and that the perfect job is already mine, and waiting for me, and that it's ONLY for me and no one else and it's a good paying job with benefits so that I can get a car, travel to Japan and Eat? Yes.. Eat! Food... that's a nice topic.

My favorite Taquaria place.. you know the dollar menu. Well, the other night as I was coming home. I stopped in there and low, this counter person was taking her sweet time with the person in front of me. And I didn't want to miss my bus. So I asked if she could please help me as I didn't want to miss my bus. She crumples up the bag and practically throws it at me. I ask her for chips and give her a funny look and say thank you smiling. Well, tonight she runs behind the counter and they start to giggle and stare at me with a mean look. Of course they were talking in Spanish. It reminded me of the ladies in the finger nail places where they giggle as they file your nails.

Came home and found some hair in my chips!

Nothing worse than getting a mouthfull of rancid hair. Patooey!

Ok.. let me try to redeam this entry. I'm a bit tired. The show was as good as it was gonna get, for a small theater. I was the first to come on. At 6pm so hardly anyone was there yet. Oh right.. forgot to say that one of my best friends came. We've known each other since 7th Grade. I never get good reviews from my family. But she said it was good. My Mom called and left a message on my phone machine saying it was really good, but she couldn't hear me and that I needed to speak up! Well, Mom.. is almost 80 and needs a hearing aid but Narry a Nay will she get one.

I also believe that there was tension in the air as this was one of the rare occasions that my parents are in the same place at the same time. Not my fault that they barely speak. Leave it to ME to bring them together, at least in the same room.

Then a good thing happened... A girl outside in the lobby tonight thanked me so much for doing this show. She seemed so happy to see this kind of show being done and kept looking at me in awe. Gosh, it's the little people that count. Perhaps it's not so much how they spelled your name, it's that you did the best job that you could. And now I have a New Stage Name!

Bebe Tyler

NOT TAYLOR!

Hugz n Lub, Bebe da FairyGodMum

Happy May Day!
LINK #1, LINK #2 There is more information on the internet about May Day... Seems it's a fertility rite. Has to do with Spring Solstice and the Eclipse we just had. May signify's the flowers blooming, the sun shinning and everything growing all around us. Isn't it wonderful to have such beautiful scenery around us in nature. Yes, it's Spring!